the same

it isn’t the same

without you around.

 

I’ve seen my friends go

through similar hurt

but seeing and being

are two different things

 

I cover my windows with blankets

because

you took the curtains when

you packed up and went

but the light hurts my eyes

 

I spray my room

again and again

with the strongest scents I can find

but you linger there still

 

I purge my closets of

clothes that I wore

when I was with you

end up throwing away

all my favorite dresses and shoes

 

I give up tomatoes and ice cream

and bread

because those were your favorite foods

 

never felt this way before, but

 

finally I see what it means

to be breathing, not living

cliche though it sounds

it means what it means

I’d like to lie in bed forever,

please.