“let’s do an experiment”
she said to herself
put down her phone and waited.
hours turned into days
and no one called
and no one asked her how she was
and so her nights turned endless,
darkness crept into her days
she thought she had friends but
where were they?
she tracked the times they’d spent together
every instance a little farther apart
than the last
she realized, slowly,
that she had always been
the initiator.
she looked out the window because
she heard loud music
and saw her friends drive by
way too fast
they’d forgotten to invite her,
she supposed
just an oversight.
but days turned into weeks and
then a month to the day
no calls
no invitations
no words
her experiment was over
the results were in, but
not what she had hoped for.
“twisted,”
some would call this experiment
“masochistic,” even
but she just wanted to see if
anyone would miss her
it’s not that she thought
her life was void of
people who would be there
if she asked
she had a list of friends to
call if she needed someone
but the thing is,
she wasn’t on anyone else’s list
and that got to her, slowly
day by day.
she began to wait with
baited breath for
the day she’d move away
begin to forget
the ones who’d forgotten her
the day came quickly, so
it seemed
she packed up her car with smiling people
who were glad to help
but she’d never even been to their houses
never even hugged them
“there must be more”
she thought as she spotted
counterfeit tears in her rearview mirror