I’ve been waging this war

it seems years and years

I’ve spent only twenty-one here

but it feels like a lifetime has

come and gone

they don’t quite know what to say

to inspire me

they’ve told me what

a beautiful life this

is

sometimes I fail to see.

When you build those walls up higher than you can see

You’ll find it’s easier to hate and hard to think

That it feels good to demonize your hurt and victimize yourself

You are built on your hate for someone else

Just for a day, just let the light in

Don’t have to ask it to stay

Don’t have to let it win

But I just can’t give in

‘cause I’m tied to the melancholy

The dark isn't stupid.

It's not often tricked and cannot be permanently kept under reigns

But words can touch it and change it for minutes on end or soften its glare

like a song

there’s this ache that permeates my days.

in rainy weather, sunny skies

pizza parties, long work nights

there’s an ache that won’t be satisfied by

anything but the draw of the past.

Coming back to who I am

is a task I find quite difficult

I’m not quite sure who I’ve become

while waiting for the enemy

of Time’s fool.

Miss your hands on my piano

Miss your mouth on my coffee cups

Miss your head on my pillow

Miss your spills on my counter tops

a dying rose in an empty vase

an empty ship in a cruel sea

sleek white paint on a sheet of paper

a hollow knock on a hollow door.

Never mind the pale white skin

you will find

wrinkled and lifeless

open glazed eyes

staring up at the sun